Ah, to be young again. Young and, uh…uh…well…uh, young and…oh dadburnit; I guess I’d have to say that, for the first time in a long time, I’m at a loss for words. Let me just get to it then: Vaginal rejuvenation, designer vaginoplasty, or revirgination is not medically necessary, and it may even be unsafe. That’s right, cosmetically touching up the Garden of Eden may be a procedure of futility or worse! This message comes straight from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) in its journal, Obstetrics & Gynecology.

My simple question is – why? I hate to sound like a totally predictable and broken record but I really don’t get it. Who does this and for whom? The process includes changing the shape of the labia, “restoring” the hymen, and tightening the vagina (check out this piece by the Washinton Post). What are we back in antiquity? I guess virginity is en vogue once again. Whew! I was getting worried there.

But doctors are performing these surgeries as if they are routine. According to Dr. Abbey Berenson, one of the lead authors of the ACOG guidelines, some women may be fooled by deceptive marketing practices into thinking they need the surgery because they are somehow abnormal. “Many women don’t realize that the appearance of external genitals varies significantly from woman to woman,” Berenson said. She goes on to say, “There are always risks associated with a surgical procedure. It’s important that women understand the potential risks of these procedures and that there is no scientific evidence regarding their benefits.”

Ah yes, please listen to the good doctor. All surgical procedures come with risk. Period. Some of the potential complications here include infection, altered sensation, pain and scarring. And for what? An illusion? I can’t imagine anyone other than the person considering this surgery caring about this kind of thing. No chance. And if your man does – you think it’s for your man, right? – then maybe he needs a new brain.

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