Who was it that said they don’t want no one minute-man? Well then how about a three-minute man? Five-minute dynamo? If current research is right, then there should be a lot of smug studs out there relishing the notion that 15 minutes of love making is a damn near marathon.

According to experts, the optimal amount of time for sexual intercourse is 3 to 13 minutes. Woohoo boys, no more need for explaining, everybody’s doing the Flashdance. That’s right, a survey of sex therapists showed that the average coital time between couples is a lot shorter than we all think. In fact, 7.3 minutes is the median time for sexual intercourse (found in a study of 1,500 people where the women held stopwatches).

The results were not gender specific–both women and men want foreplay and sexual intercourse to last longer–and they were not age specific, as both older and younger men had difficulty making sex last much longer. I know, I know, we’ve all seen the movies, but they’re loopin’ film, I tell ya. But for anyone who has suffered more than just a little anxiety over this matter, you can finally put it to rest, not many people are doing much more that. According to Marianne Brandon, a clinical psychologist and director of Wellminds Wellbodies in Annapolis, Md., “There are so many myths in our culture of what other people are doing sexually. Most people’s sex lives are not as exciting as other people think they are.”

Amen, sister. Look, it’s just about mutual fulfillment. 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 13.3 minutes, if that’s what it takes, then that what it takes. Sometimes one partner is into it and the other one isn’t–2 minutes. Or God forbid, 30 minutes! Oh well, you’re just not in sync, try again another time. Or even better, wait till you’re both down with it. Or…you can talk about it and learn each other’s parameters (not advisable, however, on a first date). Either way, chill out about your staying power, it’s really not that big of a deal.

The best part of this story is a comment by lead author Eric Corty who said, “People who read this will say, ‘I last five minutes or my partner lasts 8 minutes,’ and say, ‘That’s OK.’ They will relax a little bit.” All I can say is my wife better not be having any of those discussions with anybody. And if any of you feel the need to tell me, well…I’m not interested.

2 Responses to Sexual Endurance Not What We Thought

  1. Anonymous says:

    It’s not the amount of time that “counts”, it’s what you do with the time when you are at it. There is foreplay which can go on and on for up to an hour. Why not try a board game for lovers? Prepare a plate of hors’d'oeuvres and a glass of wine. Put on some music. Laugh, giggle and enjoy yourselves and your bodies. It’s kept our 20 year relationship going…

  2. Absolutely. Very well put. Thank you for your comments.

    Naked twister, anyone?

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