Want to know what aspect of modern living contributes significantly to the spread of drug-resistant germs? Fast food health care, that’s what.

What’s fast food health care? It’s the churning out of patients from over-crowded hospitals to make room for new and ever-growing patients. Yow! They’re pumping ‘em out like Big Macs. Hold the bed sores, hold the lettuce…

According to Australian researchers, the overcrowding and quick turnover of hospital beds is leading to the spread of antibiotic resistant strains of bacteria, like the methicillin-resistant Staph aureus (MRSA) we saw spread to the general population at the beginning of the year. The problem seems to stem from super-busy doctors, nurses and other health care workers not washing their hands well and as frequently as recommended during busy times–that is, during times of understaffing and high workload. Eew! Yuck! Just what I want from my local fast food hospital. Shouldn’t we post letter grade ratings in the windows like we do with restaurants?

MRSA killed an estimated 19,000 Americans in 2005 and made 94,000 seriously ill. Wash your hands, McSceavyplease! MRSA infections can range from boils to more severe infections of the bloodstream, lungs and surgical sites. It is spread by the hands and on contaminated medical equipment. And last year nearly 5 percent of U.S. patients were infected or colonized with MRSA. Double Yecch!

So I’ll just say what I always do: Stay out of the American hospital system if you can help it (and British and Australian systems, too, while you’re at it). They are breeding grounds for filth. I’m the first one to trust in the strength of the environment of the human body with its immune system arsenal, but hospitals usually equal knocked ass-out on narcotics and left a bit immunocompromised. Under these circumstances, uh…I’ll put my dough on the germs. Stay healthy, practice the six keys, and wash your hands, arms, body and clothing profusely if you ever spend time in the fast food medical germ cafeteria. Makes a drive-through sound pretty darn good, now doesn’t it?

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