Don’t you just love a good Starbucks Strawberry Frappuccino? Mmm…delicious strawberry coloring and taste, the crushed beetles are so authentic. Crushed beetles? Yes–I mean how did you think they manufactured that pink strawberry-like coloring? Oh…ha ha ha…you thought fresh strawberries? Oh heavens, and did you think Chicken McNuggets were chicken?…

Well it looks like hordes of non-discerning consumers–oddly many vegans–are upset that Starbucks uses crushed-up beetles to make their unusually pink drinks pink. I guess being vegetarian doesn’t require any complex understanding of food–you know, like the natural coloring of fruit is not maintained once its structure is disrupted (it’s kind of observational…apple turns brown when you bite it…). Consequently, they gotta use something artificial to make artificial drinks.

“Natural” Cochineal Beetles

Soooo….since Starbucks relies so heavily on its non-discriminating customers, and it wouldn’t think of continuing to offend such pure dietary champions as its vegetarian base, it has decided to stop its practice of using crushed up cochineal beetles. Bravo! Now they can use chemicals like everybody else!

And Starbucks’ vegan customers can continue to fool themselves into believing that they are actually drinking strawberries–yay! Ha ha ha…human folly.

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