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Listen up, people, to words of wisdom:

“Any intervention that you do to a patient, whether it be surgical or radiation, is never going to make the person (function) better than they are at the present time.” ~ Dr. Tracey Krupski, an assistant professor of urology at the University of Virginia

This statement was in reference to a recent study of 152 men that underwent prostate removal surgery (some only partially).  The men were counseled to educate them of the risks, like erectile dysfunction (ED) and urinary incontinence, and surveyed before the surgery.  The survey questions asked about their expectations of urinary, bowel and sexual function a year post-surgery.

About half of men expected that they would have the same function after surgery as before, and 17% of men anticipated better sexual function after the surgery.  Better sexual function…hmmm….

Following up one year later, the researchers found that  just 36% of men’s expectations for urinary function matched the true outcomes, and 40% of the expectations for sexual function matched reality.

Daniela Wittmann, the sexual health coordinator in the urology department at the University of Michigan and a researcher on the study, said doctors are unable to tell patients specifically how well they are likely to recover their urinary and sexual functions.

“We can only (inform them) in terms of overall statistics, we can’t predict for the individual man” how well he will recover, Wittmann said, “which means that, if in doubt, people tend toward being hopeful and optimistic.”

Duh!  Not that knowing the risks to sexual and urinary function should, or would stop men from getting the surgery; but what’s important to me is that I’m sure most people feel this way with any medical intervention.  Sure, we can call it hopeful…but we can just as well call it misguided.

Far too many people think the progress of modern medicine is such that we can be made ‘good as new’.  Some even believe that we can become bionic–better, stronger, faster…c’mon, geez!

Let me reiterate what the good Dr. Krupski said: You are never going to come out of a surgery or radiation the same or better than you were before.  Duh!  This ain’t science fiction, people!  I know, I know…you saw it in a movie…not there yet!

Listen, you gotta have your prostate removed, so be it.  But elective c-sections, ass-implants, low back surgeries, two, three, four carpal tunnel surgeries, double mastectomies, hysterectomieswhat the f….????? You better understand that the minute your tissue is cut–YOU AREN’T THE SAME!

I see it everyday in my Los Angeles chiropractic practice: people coming in following a bad auto accident, and we work hard to get them back to one hundred percent.  How many do we actually get there?  Not many.  Trauma is trauma.  Cut the flesh…it ain’t a paper cut.  I had an appendectomy five years ago–I’m not the same; wiser but not ‘better’.  That’s a fantasy, peeps.

Let me spell it out:  If you’ve got a choice between letting the innate healing ability of the body do its thing, or removing a body part, think hard.  Looking at enhancing yourself surgically, think hard.  Doctor recommending a ‘routine’ surgery, think hard.  That’s all.  If you still decide to go for it, and they have you take a survey…check the box next to, “not the same; a bit worse.”

E.D. or P.E.? No problem, Mon–we’ve got a drug for every penile predicament. That’s erectile dysfunction and now premature ejaculation for those of you not familiar with the LOL/OMG vernacular. You’ve got it–drug makers have created a spray and a pill and that help delay ejaculation. Hallelujah for modern medicine! I can see the three hour porn scene on the horizon.

PSD502–which combines the drugs lidocaine and prilocaine–is sprayed on the head of the penis before intercourse. A study of men in Canada, Poland and the United States found that those treated with the spray five minutes before intercourse were able to delay ejaculation up to five times longer than those who used a placebo. In addition, men who used the spray and their partners reported improved sexual satisfaction. Throw in a little Viagra and WATCH OUT!

Johnson & Johnson has also developed a pill called Priligy that delays ejaculation. The company studied the product on several hundred men who had a typical ejaculation time of about 36 seconds. After using the product, the typical time from penetration to ejaculation was about 2.6 minutes, about a two minute increase–not a big deal for most of you stallions, but for the typical P.E. sufferer…that’s heaven.

As exciting as this news is, controversy looms: Some people in health care circles believe, accurately in my opinion, that too many disorders these days are created only after a drug has been developed. This is certainly the case with antidepressants, and probably with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, too.

Listen, no doubt some men can’t hold on for dear life, but enough to create a mega-selling drug in the Viagra vein? I doubt it. Variation exists in all physiological functions, including staying power–and there’s no shame in that, but let’s hear the arguments:

According to Dr. Wayne J. G. Hellstrom, professor of urology at the Tulane University School of Medicine in New Orleans and, not surprisingly, previous consultant for Johnson & Johnson, “[Premature ejaculators] don’t usually last in their relationships.” Excuse the pun. He goes on to say that 20 to 30 percent of men experience premature ejaculation at some point in their lifetimes.

But Leonore Tiefer, a clinical associate professor in the psychiatry department at the New York University School of Medicine specializing in sexual disorders, believes that pharmaceutical companies are medicalizing every aspect of our daily lives, from mood to sleep to sexual function. My regular readers know I agree with this wholeheartedly. If you haven’t had the chance to check out to my podcast on lifestyle drugs (episode 3), it’s definitely worth the listen.

Tiefer says, “Rapid ejaculation as opposed to slow ejaculation is common, but there is slow and fast everything in the world: slow and fast walkers, slow and fast eaters, slow and fast breathers. When you tell someone they are a fast ejaculator, it makes it sound like there is a right time to ejaculate and, if you ejaculate before, it’s a medical problem.”

She goes on to say, “It is going to become a problem once enough publicity is given to it.”

Exactly. Don’t let me ruin the party but…come on (not too quickly, now)! Thirty percent? Uh huh. Today, marketing is everything in the world of pharmaceutical sales. And sadly, it even dictates disorder classifications. That’s the world we live in.

Have I caught your attention? Good. You’re gonna like this post, either for its usefulness or its sheer absurdity. Either way, listen up–there’s something in it for everyone.

First things first, doctors urge the use of erectile dysfunction drugs. According to a clinical practice guideline issued by the American College of Physicians, men with erectile dysfunction should be on oral phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE-5) inhibitor drugs, such as Viagra, Cialis and Levitra, unless, of course, they are on nitrate therapy for cardiac conditions.

OK, no surprises there. This news in the face of another study that discloses that “hardness is the way to happiness.” Men have known this forever, but now science confirms it. Here’s the scoop: Pfizer, the makers of Viagra, surveyed men and women from twelve European countries. They found that 95% of respondents believe that a man’s sexual confidence is the essential ingredient for a good sex life. And 84% of men surveyed believe that the most important element of a man’s sexual confidence is his ability to please his partner sexually, while almost three quarters of women questioned agreed. So, guess what? More vi–agra, Olé!!!

The humor lies in the fact that when it comes to erection hardness, Spaniards are the least confident, while Germans are the most. This is in complete contrast to another survey in which women rated German men as the worst lovers, and Spanish men the best. Hmmm…either Spaniards are modest, Germans are dense, or women prefer men who lack confidence in their erections. Let’s see, happy women, unhappy men….yeah, that sounds right.

Anyway gents, dont worry about long-term Viagra use for now. It appears that scientists can’t find any long-term risks at the moment. There are, however, plenty of short term reactions. Dr. Alexander Tsertsvadze, from Ottawa Health Research Institute, Ontario, Canada, and colleagues report that men who took Viagra were 56% more likely than those given a placebo to experience any side effect, like headache, flushing difficulty breathing, and vision problems. The way I see it, most Spanish men would gladly endure flushing and gasping for a few hours of good wood.

But women–Aussie women primarily–beware the British male tourist travelling Down Under (now stop!). According to a recent report, Englishmen backpacking through Australia are speading sexually transmitted diseases like wildfire through risky behavior (unprotected sex with multiple partners). That’s right, “liberal” Aussie girls are foolishly practicing “no glove-love” with British travelers. And, well…you know that’s dumb.

American truckers ain’t doin’ much better. But I’ll spare you the dirty details. Check here if you’re interested.

Finally, in Detroit, one liquor store was busted trading Viagra, liquor and pornography for food stamps. U.S. Agriculture Department officials are pissed. I don’t get why. Don’t they understand it’s the key to happiness? Why, just ask a Spaniard.

Oh, the madness of erectile dysfunction. Seems like there are stiff problems surrounding the pharmaceutical and herbal remedies meant to treat this malapropos malady. According to new reports from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, taking the impotence drugs Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra can bring on sudden hearing loss. A review done by the governmental agency found that 29 cases of sudden hearing loss were reported with use of these three drugs, with two thirds of the cases being ongoing.

And if that ain’t bad enough, researchers in Hong Kong report that many “herbal remedies” sold over-the-counter have untested variants of the same pharmaceutical agents named above. The illegal analogues of sildenafil and vardenafil (Viagra and Levitra respectively) are produced with minor changes to the chemical structures and then added to, or more accurately–concealed in–the supposedly natural mix. Unfortunately, chemical variants are neither tested nor reviewed by regulatory bodies, like the FDA, as patented pharmaceuticals are, and this can lead to problems.

For instance, a previously healthy 28-year-old man was recently hospitalized with an unsteady gait (called ataxia–a neurological issue) and frequent falling. It was discovered that he had been taking an anti-impotence “health product” for over a week before showing those symptoms. Funny that a healthy young buck would need an anti-impotence drug. But as you all know from my podcast on lifestyle drugs (Episode 3), many a young stud is taking erectile dysfunction drugs to enhance performance. Bad, bad idea, Padners.

For men who truly suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED), let it be known that problems with impotence may underlie an even more serious problem–heart trouble or vascular disease. Erectile dysfunction, or the inability to gain an erection is the result of poor circulation to the penis. In fact, drugs like Viagra work precisely by increasing blood flow–vasodilation it’s called–which allows the penis to engorge with blood. Failure to do so means that the body has encountered an obstacle, most likely a problem with the pump. So simply treating ED with drugs isn’t the answer. On the contrary, not only may it mask the true issue, but that kind of cover up can also prevent men from seeking out the care they really need; or prevent them from changing their lifestyle to promote good heart health.

Unfortunately, many doctors are missing this connection. Not a surprise considering the mass volume of impotence drugs prescribed every year. Furthermore, many men with erectile problems aren’t aware of the vascular implication, so they don’t discuss it in depth with their physicians. According to Dr. R. Parker Ward, an assistant professor of medicine and director of the cardiology clinic at the University of Chicago Hospitals, and lead author of the study linking ED to heart disease, “We as physicians should be asking about, and men should be reporting to their physicians, symptoms of ED, so it can be considered as we work to modify their risk — treat blood pressure, cholesterol more aggressively, advise healthy lifestyle changes like exercise and healthy diet.” Always better to treat the cause than to put on a band-aid, I always say. And this is one of those situations where a band-aid can ultimately cost you your life.

So if your having trouble standing up to the task, take it as a firm warning–get your heart checked, start exercising, and start eating a healthy, wholesome diet. And please be cautious of purchasing that “natural” impotence herb you’ve been considering. Chances are it’s not all that natural.

Copyright © 2013 Dr. Nick Campos - All Rights Reserved.