Warning: Using toad venom aphrodisiac can kill you. You heard me right. Licking the toad before sex can be a fatal mistake, even if it does make you horny. Reports out of New York City tell of a 35-year-old man who ingested a hard, brown substance purchased as an aphrodisiac and died as a result.

The product is apparently being sold under the names Piedra, Love Stone, Jamaican Stone, Black Stone and Chinese Rock at sex shops and neighborhood stores. It resembles a hardened resin and is made from the venom of toads of the Bufo genus. The venom contains chemicals that can disrupt heart rhythms. It is banned by the Food and Drug Administration.

OK, first off, my heart goes out to this guy’s family. I can’t imagine how painful it must be to lose a loved one to horny-toad venom. But can I ask a question? How stupid can a person be to buy and ingest this type of substance? I know, I know, people do it all the time when the buy illicit street drugs. But that I understand. Those people are addicted to dope, man. How do you explain horny toad venom? Couldn’t get it up after 20 drinks? Wanted to “surprise” my girlfriend with my new superpowers? Wanted to get the most out of my Netflix porno subscription? Wouldn’t a simple hit of Viagra have done the trick? I guess asking the doctor for Viagra is too embarrassing. But rushing to the ER after smoking horny toad venom isn’t? Oh no, perfectly normal. Yeah, right.

Just so you know, stupidity rarely walks the streets alone. New York City officials report that the same type of product killed a 40-year-old man in Brooklyn in 2002 and at least four New Yorkers in the early 1990s. A 17-year-old boy also fell seriously ill, but survived following hours of aggressive treatment. Following that outbreak, city investigators went looking for the poison and found it was being sold sporadically in grocery stores, smoke shops and from street vendors.

Listen, there’s one simple take home lesson from this post: don’t buy any of this crap off the street, out of a sex shop, or anywhere else for that matter. While you’re at it, stay away from Chinese herbs, teas and tinctures, and anything else not given to you from a licensed acupuncturist, Oriental Medicine doctor, or other licensed health care professional. Only take “health” products prescribed by somebody who can be held accountable if you up and croak, or blow out your liver or something like that. Duh! What were they thinking?

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