All is flux, nothing is stationary…is what they say. And I can tell you from my experience that…well, it seems to be true. Change is inevitable, so why do we fight it? More importantly, why do we avoid being the changer, the one directing the flux?

Well, we do this mostly because change is hard—it can be painful, filled with uncertainty and makes us come to terms with our illusions—all daunting to our sometimes fragile, and very often vulnerable, egos. But change IS inevitable, that I can assure you, so why not be the master of your destiny?

Now it’s important to understand how crucial dissatisfaction is to human development. It is in our dissatisfaction that we strive to change, to grow, whether we are talking about an individual, society or humanity as a whole. Change is growth.

That doesn’t mean that dissatisfaction alone will bring the change we want. On the contrary, the more charge behind a dissatisfaction, the more likely we are to experience it, because the human mind has a way of seeing that which we despise all around us. Have you ever noticed that the more you are put off by an action or behavior, the more those around you exhibit that action or behavior? Hmmm…

So that brings me to an important point—change doesn’t always mean that people should alter their situations or circumstances, but instead that they change their perspective. Everything that dissatisfies us does so because we cannot see how it is serving us in the moment. By searching for, and eventually finding, the purpose of any given situation in our life right now, we can understand its importance to our overall growth and development—something that we stall when we fail to see the big picture.

So I would say that the first step in creating change is to love our circumstances, no matter how difficult that may be. Ask yourself, how does my current circumstance serve me in the big picture? Does it allow me to be free, to pursue my life in the ways I love? Does it teach me how to walk through the world with strength and dignity? Or maybe it teaches me things to teach others—so that they can transition into change more easily? You have to look for the answer within yourself, but I assure you: Your current condition serves you in some way.

With that in mind, how can you be the director of change in your life? I believe that it starts by writing things down. Write what you’d love to become, what you’d love your future to be. Write down what you’d love to do, where you’d love to go. And write down the life you’d love to have in every aspect…and start today. Only by writing down what you would love in every aspect of your life will you stimulate the change you desire.

I do this exercise every new year, and have done so for the last decade. I write down everything I want in my life, in well thought out detail, and as it turns out, I see my life move in that direction. It happens because it’s in my heart; and by writing it all down, I set the wheels in motion. I read, and then re-read, my list throughout the year, and it’s amazing what I accomplish.

But I always remember to seek and understand how my current challenges are leading me toward my destiny. By putting things into perspective, particularly when I find myself dissatisfied, I make it easier for change to occur on its own, without stalling it through my discontent.

We can be the masters of our destiny. And although we cannot control every single situation in our lives—nor avoid the pain, uncertainty or shattering of our illusions—we can direct our ultimate destination by loving every circumstance along the way. Then by writing down what we would love in our lives, in its entirety, we can be the directors of our change, and not leave it carelessly to the wind.