The yogic code of conduct, known as the Yamas (restraint or control), is a powerful guide to behavior that is unlike what we typically expect from spiritualist thinking. These principles are not commandments in any way but ideas on how to avoid pitfalls that can lead to great suffering. In yogic teaching, we call them ‘the don’ts’ or those you would be wise to avoid for your greater mental health and well-being.
Aparigraha is Sanskrit for non-possessiveness or non-hoarding. It is developing a detachment from material items, people, and experiences. This ethic is based on the law of non-permanence: what has a beginning must always have an end. In other words, the world is constantly changing—everything comes into existence to pass, never to stay. So, while it is wise not to desire what is not ours, aparigraha, the principle of non-possessiveness, tells us that it is foolish to overly desire (or become attached to) even what is. When we become too attached to our possessions, children, spouses, or even experiences, it is a precursor to some of the deepest pain possible.
Money comes and goes; people come and go. Children grow up and design their own lives, and spouses, parents, or friends can all leave your side during their lifetime or through death. Change is inevitable, and nothing will remain, so becoming attached to our perceived possessions is unwise. The despondency accompanying the perceived loss of something we believe we own can be overwhelming.
Aparigraha is also letting go of the notion of possession. Like non-coveting, non-possessiveness is possible only when we become aware of the true nature of things. When we see physical forms as simply that: forms of energy materializing within our consciousness, we begin to perceive the greater flow of energy that permeates our sense of space and time. Nothing is ever missing; forms take on new forms. Thus, whatever any given material item represents to us is always present. Security, attention, appreciation—all are conserved universally throughout space and time. Understanding this makes it easier to withstand the repetitive loss we perceive over the transformation of items or situations.
We are all aware of this principle on some level. Almost everybody can withstand the loss of a cell phone, through gritted teeth perhaps, but nobody has to be sedated over this type of perceived loss. However, when we lose relationships, loved ones, or even ourselves (through amputated body parts), it can lead to extreme stress and despair. But by mastering non-possessiveness, one is led to the most essential and powerful detachment of all—to the body-mind as Self.
Clinging to things is in direct ignorance of the law of transformation. It limits the mind to one body and our experiences to one or a few forms. Although it is physically impossible to limit our experiences in this way, we can develop a hoarding perspective, which can lead to enormous suffering via frustration, heartache, and even mental illness. By recognizing that not even our bodies can be seen as belonging to us, we open the potential to occupy an even greater space than just our physical forms. We are energy in physical manifestation, so we can permeate space and time irrespective of borders. We can touch others no matter what the distance between us. Time and space dissolve in the consciousness of non-possessiveness. Understanding that we are not our bodies—but the spark of light that ignites them—is the only path to oneness.
